Searching for Atlantis

The ex has just made a new post on MySpace ... about how his soulmate is out there, and how he will find him in due course.

I must admit that it hurt to read that.

I don't know why it should.  I know that he and I are definitely not meant for one another - in fact, I wouldn't have him back if he was presented to me tied up on a platter with an apple stuffed in his mouth.  Life is so much better now than when we were married.  I've met someone new who cares for me ... and better yet, that I care for.  I have my flat, my cats, my job and my clients, my family, my friends.  Hobbies and interests galore.  A future.

So why did reading that feel like such a kick in the guts?

Well, here I am ... sans pox and ready to go.  However, it's the Queen's Birthday public holiday here and I have no cash and nothing to do.  Therefore and ergo, I hatched a brainiac of an idea - I would park myself in a chatroom and broadcast 24 hours of my life on webcam.

Why?

Well, for starters, I wanted to do it simply to be able to say that I'd done it.  It's something different that I can add to my resume.  However, when I started to think about it a bit more deeply, I thought it would be an interesting experiment.  What is it like to live your life in the public eye for 24 hours?  How would it change a person's behaviour?

So far?  All my thoughts have been of vanity.  Would I start in my clothes or in my pjs?  Well, considering it's meant to be a day in the life, I screwed up my courage and publicly broadcast my daggy purple hippy sleep pants and scuzzy Slazenger t-shirt to the world.  My shower definitely didn't make it into the public sphere, but my wet hair, which I never blow dry, has. 

In other words, I'm trying to be as honest as humanly possible without compromising my modesty.  People are free to criticise how I look, but I'm not running a free peep show.

Anyway, I'm going to be in front of the computer for another 22 and a half hours (with the exception of bathroom and housework breaks.  If you want to stop by and help me while away the time, my address is loves_to_chat34@yahoo.com

Bad Fings:

• I can has chickenpox.
• Because of chickenpox, I can also has the isolation.
• Because of the isolation, I can also has the lonely.
• I hate the lonely.  It causes the depression, which is NOT GOOD.
• I can also has the itch, but the itch does not suck as much as the lonely and the subsequent depression.
• As a result of the itch and the depression, I spent today in bed alternatively itching, scratching and crying.
  

Good Fings:

• I can has conversations to people on the phone and on the internet to help cure the lonely and the depression, once I feel a bit better.
  
• By the time the Queen's Birthday long weekend comes around, I can has hugs.  I can't wait for hugs :-)
• However, in the meantime I can gives hugs to people I don't like while I'm still infectious.
  
• I can also gives hugs to Atticus and Jem, 'cos cats don't get chickenpox.
• I can save money on heating bills because I can also has fever.
  
• I can play connect-the-dots ... I wonder what sort of picture I'll make?
  

What's your favorite midnight snack?

Anything that involves the following condiment is good ...

Def Leppard - "Pour Some Sugar on Me" U.K. Music Video

Firetrucked Fings on Fursday:

• A furrball arrived in my head on Funday night, confisting of a temperature, very fore froat, a noth spraying thnot like a fountain and general acheth and painth.
• Furrballth theem to bring my ridiculouthneth to the fore, which hath been annoying the crap out of anyone who comes within my vicinity ... ethpecially when I talk like dis.
• I've been having nightmareth about poodle-eating noodleth.
• It'th been rainified with a ferocious all week-week-week. 

Fantabulous Fings on Fursday:

• The furrball has moved from my head down to my chest, where it belongs.  This improves my capacity for doing something that masquerades as actual fought, as opposed to mere existence.
• Even if my ridiculousthness hath been annoying, it'th made thome people laugh.
• Better nighmareth about poodle-eating noodleth than vampires and wherewolveth, my old childhood terrorth.
• If it'th been rainified, at leatht I've been able to thpend my time at home, cuddled up on the couch with Plath, Jem and Atticuth.  A little crowded at timeth, but no one hath complained yet.

Thith potht proudly brought to you bai the letterth "Th" and the diagraph "Fr" masquerading for "S" and "Th," and I Can Has Cheezburger.

Me:   and we now return you to my normally scheduled scattiness.

You:  I feel sorry for you.

Me:   sorry for me?  why?

You:  You're a woman who shouldn't be alone.

Don't know how I feel about that one.

1. When I quoted this lyric in my title, it made me realise that it's incorrect.  It should say "Sunny day, (noun) sweeping the clouds away." 
   
2. Select the (noun) of your own choice ... such as "wind," "hurricane," or perhaps even "nuclear holocaust."
3. No date this weekend.  Therefore, I may actually be in need of the aforementioned nuclear holocaust in order to remove the clouds from my vicinity.
4. I just realised that this would only create a series of mushroom clouds, which would defeat the purpose of sweeping the precipitation away.
5. You know what they say about mushrooms.
6. In case you don't know - they're kept in the dark, and fed bull****.
7. I don't mind either condition, as long as I'm fed the sort of bull**** that I like.
8. The sort of bull that I like is usually red ...
   
9. even though it comes in a blue and silver can.
10. Thinking about bulls makes me glad I'm not a cow.
11. My favourite breed of cow is the Fresian.
    
12. There is one lie in this post.
13. Can you spot it?
    

I've been giving my life quite a bit of thought over the last couple of weeks ... thinking about what I want to do, and how I want to get there.  I've finally reached a conclusion.

I'm going to quit university.

I look at the subjects that I'm covering and whilst they're quite interesting, they have no relevance to real-world skills.  In other words, they tell you a great deal about how the world SHOULD be, but very little about how this can be put into practice - and practice is where I want to be.  University is simply preparing me to become another desk jockey who has no idea what life is like out there in the field, which is actually my preferred arena (regardless of how much I HATE cleaning *grumble*). 

As such, my motivation for study has gone waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down.  I also think that after I stopped teaching, and the ex and I split up, I needed something to make me feel "special."  However, as my confidence as returned, that's no longer such a priority.  I don't need to be "special" anymore ... I simply need, and want, to "be."

Still and all, I don't want to be doing care work forever.  Therefore, I've been perusing TAFE NSW.  I got my first qualification there back in 1999 when I graduated with a Diploma of Community Services in Welfare.  From what I can remember of the course, it was actually useful.  Rather than being based on critical analysis, the course actually provided me with useful skills and strategies that I practically employed on the job. 

If I want to get back into the disabilities field though, I need a brush-up.  Therefore, I'm currently considering applying for this:

Certificate III in Disability Work

However, if I want to do the deal, I need to get moving ... course applications close on 29 May.

*Ugh*

• The gum around my wisdom tooth is infected.  This has happened before, but not for a long time now.  As both of my bottom wisdom teeth are actually impacted, I assume that the left one is finally on the move, because it's broken through my gum.  I'm in so much agony that I would like to punch the moron who said the getting of wisdom was painful ... first of all, because I'm such a caring and sharing type, and secondly, because the bastard was right.  It kills.
• Because I'm ill, I'm catching up on all my lost zeds.  However, the ex-husband has started to renew his old habit of dropping into my dreams.  Our past has been erased - we're simply the friends we once were ... never dated or lived together, and certainly didn't marry.  Very annoying, as I'm actually remembering him as a funny, intelligent and caring person.  Obviously fever dreams, because the reality was, and may still be, completely different.

*Yay?*

In the state of mind I'm currently in, it's hard to think of anything.  Except the pain.  Period.

Okay, okay ... I'll try.

• Meeting *C II* was fun.  Even though it turned out differently to what I think we both expected.
• Ice cream rules when you have an infected gum.

That is all.

What makes you a good (or bad) neighbo(u)r?

What makes me a good neighbour is that when the couple next door play their music so loudly that the speakers seem to be in my flat instead of theirs, keeping me awake until 5am, I don't call the cops.

What makes me a bad neighbour is that instead of doing the sensible thing and talking to them about it, *C II* (as opposed to *C I*)  helped me to take my revenge on Friday night until 4.40am - when the male half of the couple had to get up at 5am to go to work on Saturday morning.

Totally evil ... but oh-so-sweet!